Subscriber Story #1: Why We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve

Author: inu | Editor: Janelle Newell | June 17, 2026

I recently graduated from grade 10, and I have a very loving boyfriend. He cares for me, gifts me with cute stuff I want, shows up for me, is gentle, caring, polite. It seems like he is the full package, and I've won the life partner lottery. My current relationship is my second one, and hopefully the last. So, it would be silly to think that a girl who has such a perfect love life right now, had a completely opposite one just a year ago and it was all because of what she thought she deserved - or maybe manipulation...

The guy before this was my first ever boyfriend and it was a serious relationship (at least on my end). Now you see I had no experience in any kind of relationship, I didn't watch any lovey dovey movies. Nor did I have any friends with dating experience. So it is safe to say I had no example of how my boyfriend should be treating me.

At the time, he did the bare minimum and made me believe that that was the maximum a guy can do. As an 8th grader, I was completely enamored by the potential...that someday I could be wearing his mom's ring... I know pathetic. Now there were many more toxic things about the guy and the overall relationship that I cannot mention. At that time I thought that my relationship was very normal although it wasn't and it took me a whole lot of trauma and observing healthy relationships (and Tiktok advice) to realize that the love that I was receiving was not what I deserved but what I thought I deserved (or was made to think I did).

The love you think you deserve depends on the love you receive, and there's no convincing anyone what you can't convince yourself of. For me, all I needed was one person in my life to make me realize that I actually deserve more-myself. And my choice in men now is only a reflection of that.