Tretinoin Was Supposed to Fix My Skin

I wanted clear skin again so badly that I finally did what everyone tells you to do and went to a dermatologist. I thought I was entering my responsible, healing era. Instead, I genuinely feel like I paid someone to destroy my skin.

I was prescribed tretinoin because it’s treated like the holy grail of skincare. Acne, texture, dark spots, uneven tone, everything supposedly improves with tretinoin. For Black and brown girls especially, we constantly hear that it helps fade hyperpigmentation, the dark acne scars that stay long after breakouts disappear. So I trusted the process because I wanted my skin back.

At first, I expected purging. Everyone online says it gets worse before it gets better.

I told myself to be patient. Temporary struggle for long-term results.

But weeks turned into months.

My dark spots didn’t fade. They got darker. Every blemish left a deeper mark than

before. My skin was constantly irritated, peeling, and inflamed. Four months

passed, and I kept waiting for the glow people promised, but my skin just kept

getting worse. I stopped recognizing my face in a way that felt comforting.

And no one really prepares you for how emotional that becomes.

My confidence dropped fast. I became hyperaware of my skin at all times. I avoided mirrors and certain lighting. I got paranoid about anything touching my face. I didn’t even want my boyfriend touching my cheeks because I felt unattractive and convinced that anything could clog my pores or make another breakout appear. I felt anxious all the time, like my skin was fragile and constantly one mistake away from getting worse.

When you have melanin-rich skin, acne isn’t just acne. The breakout eventually heals, but the scar can stay for months or years. So when something promises fading and clarity, it feels personal. It feels hopeful. Like maybe you’ll finally stop obsessing over texture or covering marks in photos. That’s why it hurt so much when tretinoin felt like it was doing the opposite.

Tretinoin works for some people, but what isn’t talked about enough is how

aggressive it can be. Faster skin turnover means irritation, and irritation

can trigger more pigmentation in darker skin tones. Instead of fading spots,

inflammation can make them deeper and more noticeable. I kept thinking I just needed to push through harder. Be more consistent. Use more moisturizer. Wait longer. Skincare culture makes you feel like if something isn’t working, you’re the problem.

But wellness isn’t forcing your skin to suffer just because something is popular or clinically approved. Sometimes healing means slowing down. Repairing your skin barrier. Choosing gentleness over punishment. Listening when your body is clearly asking for rest. I didn’t stop because I gave up. I stopped because my skin and my confidence deserved kindness.

Clear skin should never come at the cost of how you feel about yourself.

*For tips on how I cleared my skin, check out the Beauty Tab